Le Cirque de Mystère
by justawanderingdragon
Summary: The Pines family expected a delightful trip to the circus, and maybe even visit their great uncle's sideshow, when Mabel gets a bouquet of flowers and a mysterious note from a secret admirer telling her to go to dressing room 618 after the show...


Dipper Pines was quite put off by circuses. He did not know if it was because the colors looked like they were made in a chemical factory, the fact that it smelled like animal feces, or just that he did not care for dirty, public places.

The air was warm and sweet, as if it were saturated with honey, and a little stuffy. Dipper found himself coughing frequently from the sawdust and the putrid smell of rotten cotton candy. He could see why circuses were nicknamed "The Big Top". But as high as the canvas ceilings were, they were not high enough to contain the atmosphere, which squirmed and rolled around in its own waste, a tiny galaxy of color and candy condensed into a single pinprick.

_Le Cirque de Mystère,_ which despite its fancy French naming originated in Oregon, was all the hype in Piedmont. The circus was in town, an event that rarely occurred. The show itself had been quality entertainment. There were clowns fired out of cannons, all-you-can-eat cotton candy (which Mabel took a delight to), and frustrating tricks of the hand (Dipper himself was partial to the acrobatics performed by a gorgeous redheaded girl who made him blush furiously every time she cartwheeled past his seating).

The real reason, aside from the awe-inspiring magic that comes with the circus, was that the Pines had a great uncle who ran a sideshow. _The Mystery Shack_, he called it. The man, Stanford Pines, operated the cheaply-ran enterprise under the guise of 'Mr. Mystery'. Despite the fact that the sideshow was burdened with obvious fakes, it remained one of the most popular attractions of the circus due to its reputation as absolutely, unbelievably hilarious and stupid.

This Great-Uncle Stan was a person whom the Pines family saw little of him due to his employment in an agency that frequently traveled. In fact, Dipper's only memory of him was a weekend trip to Oregon when he was four. Described as a cross, cheap, and petty old man, Dipper felt no need to visit him right away; his great-uncle could wait a little while longer after the show as Dipper followed his sister on an endeavor.

"Mabel, I'm going to stand outside," he said to his twin sister. Another preteen stuck her head out from behind a rack of threadbare clown costumes.

"Aw, Dips," she pouted, using her gift of natural cuteness and puppy-like brown eyes in an attempt to win her brother over. "Don't you wanna meet my secret admirer?" She flourished a bouquet of pink roses, written in delicate handwriting, _'To my dearest Mabel: meet me in dressing room 618. –Your Secret Admirer'._

Dipper crossed his arms. "It's probably a fake—or—or a girl! Just look at that loopy handwriting!"

Mabel smiled. "I wouldn't mind if they were a girl."

"No, Mabel, it's too stuffy in here—" and as if his lungs were eager to prove this point, Dipper started coughing. He wheezed, wiping the dust from his eyes and the spit from his mouth. "Either way, I'm waiting outside. You can have fun with…Whoever…"

And with that, Dipper stepped out into the night air. It was a refreshing break from the oppressive atmosphere of the tent—this one was in the outer ring, as it was used mainly as a dressing room, rather than for a performance. He checked his watch. It was only a matter of time before their parents knew that the twins' "trip to the bathroom" had lasted a tad bit too long.

He looked up at the night sky. Quite certainly, it would have been a glorious sky, full of stars and planets and astrological bodies, the same ones that ancient civilizations looked up to, the same one that gave Dipper his nickname. But he saw only black. It was not cloudy—a more perfect night for a circus had never before been conceived—but the artificial lights of the tents took themselves to the sky like cotton handkerchiefs and blotted away the mural of stars. And even if the circus had not been in town, it was still on the Alameda county fairgrounds, which were considerably close to the urban centers of Berkley, Oakland, and Piedmont. The stars had never shown for Dipper during the entirety of his twelve years of life.

He contemplated actually looking for a restroom; the circus was gross and disgusting and Dipper was sure he had sat in something sticky during the performance. There _had_ to be running water near the changing rooms, for there should always be a faucet or hose ready to wash off the ten-inch layers of makeup worn by the performers. But leaving the awning meant leaving Mabel at the hands of some stranger. Dipper listened through the tend door and heard nothing troubling.

**xXx**

The first thing Mabel Pines noticed when she stepped into the dressing room was the copious amounts of glitter. It looked like someone had filled a spray can with fairy dust and gone crazy. _"Whoever they are,"_ she thought. _"I like them already."_

"Hello?" she called out. "I got your roses!"

A large, furred chair spun around from in front of a baby blue vanity mirror. "My dear, darlin' Mabel! I see you got my gift! I hope it pleased you?"

Mabel looked glanced at the owner of the voice who sat in the chair. She looked again, a bit harder. Being the polite person she was, Mabel did not admit that she thought him to be a dwarf from the freak show at firsts. For the boy was a very small, very fat child who was no doubt at least three years younger than twelve-year-old Mabel.

He stood up on the chair, his blue eyes only just reaching Mabel's brown. His hair, however, resembled the white cotton candy she had eaten earlier, bigger and poofier than she thought hair could be.

Ever gracious, Mabel smiled and greeted the boy with "Hello! Who are you, you little cutie pie?"

The boy smiled cheekily. "The name's Gideon Gleeful, m'lady, but you can call me your secret admirer!" He giggled girlishly and threw his chubby little hands into the air.

Mabel laughed. "That's_ so_ cute! So are you, like, a human marshmallow or something? What do you do?"

"Why, I'm a sideshow magician! You _must_ have heard of my act—mindreading, divination, magic spells, levitation—all in the Tent of Telepathy!"

"No, I'm sorry, Gideon."

The child magician looked downtrodden for a moment before he perked up. _"Anyways," _he said, using the same cutesy voice Mabel always used on her family. "I was wonderin' if you'd do me the pleasure of being my sugar plum. The circus leaves Alameda tomorrow and I'd like to go on a date with you."

Mabel chuckled nervously. Gideon could hardly be ten years old, and besides, it was very sweet of him to send flowers; she was thinking of a way to let him down nicely. She managed to croak out, "Er, how exactly do you know who I am? I don't think I've seen you before."

"Oh, I have my ways," Gideon reassured her. "I saw you goin' into the Big Top and I thought 'Now there's a fine girl'. So I canceled my show and watched you in the stands for the whole performance! Did you know you looked absolutely _precious_ when the Ringmaster asked for a volunteer? All them other folks were rather unenthusiastic in raising their hands, but you, you were in the true spirit of the circus!"

"You…you _spied_ on me?"

"I'd rather call it 'looking-for-love', m'lady. So what do you say; would you go stargazing on the roof of the Big Top with me tonight?"

Mabel looked at the boy in front of her. But before she could respond, the door to the dressing room burst open.

"Mabel," Dipper said. "It's getting really late and I think we need to go. Hey, who's the elf?"

Gideon fumed. "I am _not_ an elf, you ignorant boy! I am the powerful and almighty magician Gideon! And my sweet, _darling_ Mabel was about to go on a date with me!" 

"Woah, woah, woah," Mabel said, crossing her arms. "I did _not_ agree to anything yet!"

"But you were going to say yes," Gideon declared, looking at her in the eyes.

"No—no I wasn't!" she cried. Mabel instantly regretted her exasperated tone when she saw the heartbreak in Gideon's eyes. As annoying as he was, she did not have the heart to crush the soul of a little kid. "Look, Gideon," she explained, using the gentlest voice she could muster. "I'm twelve and you're—what—nine? You're too young to be looking for love! Just focus on your interests and live your life!"

"But you _are_ my interests!" Gideon pleaded. "You _are_ my life!"

Mabel sighed and went on. "Besides, you're in the circus and I'm in Piedmont; there's no _way_ it could work out even if I wanted it to."

"Well, they say long distance relationships are more romantic," Gideon giggled.

"Dude—" Dipper pushed Mabel out of the way before she could respond. "You're creepy! You're weird! You're wearing too much make-up for someone who hasn't gone through puberty! _She won't date you."_

Gideon huffed. "Let the lady speak for herself!" He turned towards his crush and smiled sweetly. "Mabel, my dear, ignore your brother's prejudice. Tell me, what does your heart say?"

"IT SAYS YOU'RE A CREEPER," Dipper shouted angrily.

"Boy, I will take your innards and—"

"No, Gideon, Dipper's right," Mabel confessed. "We can't be together." She looked down; Gideon was turning red. She added quickly, "Maybe we can be penpals? I'd love to hear about all the places the circus visits."

"Say it ain't so, my sugar plum!" Gideon begged. "I cannot be satisfied with just your friendship! I need your heart, and your mind, and your spirit, and your soul, and your skeleton, and your organs, and your…"

Dipper rolled his eyes as the list of body parts dragged on while Mabel started to look quite uncomfortable as well as a bit green. Leaving the maniacal magician to his ranting, the twins left dressing room 618.

"You're right, Dips," Mabel admitted as they walked across the sawdust-strewn path leading deeper into _Le Cirque de Mystère. _"Mom and Dad are probably worried. I'm sorry I wasted your time with that Gideon freak."

Dipper patted his sibling's shoulder in an attempt to soothe her. "Nah, it's okay. If we're lucky, we'll still have time to see the exhibits!"

"That's right!" said Mabel, cheering up immediately at the thought of entertainment. "Didn't Dad want to show us his uncle's sideshow? It's supposed to have elf heads and yeti poop!"

Dipper smirked. _"Sure…_If you ask me, circuses mock the very profession of cryptozoology."

"You mean monster hunting?"

"Cryptozoology is a very respectable field to go into, Mabel!" Dipper argued.

Mabel smiled. Although everyone always told her to get her head out of the clouds, she knew Dipper was not as down-to-earth as he pretended to be. Her brother tended to let his imagination run wild with thoughts of lake monsters and man-eating goats. At the very mention of sasquatch, Dipper was able to go on a very enthusiastic rant. His cryptozoology was just as much of a science to her as her glitter-and-glue sculptures were art to him.

"Whatever," she said.

They began to walk back to the main part of the circus. The dressing rooms were on the very edge of the encampment, where electric lights were cheap and the paint was chipping. It was not hard to find the center of the area—the largest tent, the Big Top, acted as a landmark. It was where Dipper and Mabel had last seen their parents. Crowds slowly began to fill in the paths until the siblings were squished between soldiers. Determined not to lose each other in the masses, they clutched each other's arms.

But although they knew where the center was, the rest of the circus was much more vague in positioning. They myriad of tents and booths and trailers were like a maze, a big, bright maze of balloons and clowns and red canvas fabric. It was much more vast than they thought, the twins soon realized. They had been walking for fifteen minutes and had barely made a dent in the encampment's perimeter.

And so around the same time, Dipper and Mabel Pines noticed that they recognized none of the exhibits. This was an unfamiliar section of the circus that they trod on. There were not even maps or signposts—as if _Le Cirque de __Mystère_ had been purposefully created with the intent of getting its patrons. Which is what the twins were; undeniably lost on the circus grounds.

**So a few days ago I was listening to **_**Cirque Dans la Rue**_** by The Plain White T's and suddenly this whole idea of the Pines twins getting lost in the huge, chaotic circus just fell into my mind. But seriously, LISTEN TO THE SONG I SWEAR TO GOD IT'S THE ONLY THING I'VE BEEN THINKING OF FOR DAYS.**

**Also, thanks to freakyanimegal (jaelafish on tumblr) for feedback on some plot points. Yes, there will be a plot. Eventually.**


End file.
